Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Look after my heart - I've left it with you.

sigh. i am tired. but honestly, i just feel good. i know there i have bills to pay. homework to be done. a paper to write. etc etc. but seriously, when it is chicago and 55 degrees and i can walk to my car with my coat off, i feel amazing. sure there is no new gossip girl or office or greek or one tree hill BUT top model will be starting soon. i like that no matter what i can always find something positive.

i had an amazing sweet potato for dinner. this of course was after a lunch at the cheesecake factory where my friend yair and i had avocado eggrolls (to die for!!!) and salad and a sandwich. yair is back from traveling a few months in south america and it's great to see him. we had a fun talk and nice lunch and i felt really good when i left. in fact, i left smiling.

isn't that the best? when you leave someone with a smile on your face? i had to go over to elads last night and when i left, i was smiling.

i stayed after class for 30mins talking outside with a girl in my sco class. i left smiling.

i picked up 4 kids in my honda civic coupe. i helped 2 5thgrade boys do homework. wrangled a 7th grader into algebra over the xbox. i got through a 7 year olds math frustration and she willing finished all her work. early. i left my job smiling.

can't i forget the text at 8:45 this morning from my mom telling me she loved me and was proud of me. i walked into class smiling.

sometimes when i am nervous and surrounded by strangers or in a place i don't know, i think of the people that love me, and i smile. i feel courage. their love is a layer that protects me and makes me strong. it seems silly but it feels really really good.

okay. so i am thinking. me. my bed. my psych book. studying. and sleep.

i love the moment when i know i am about to sleep and i reach over to pull the lamp cord. my body is already relaxed and my mind starting to dream. it feels so good to sink in the pillows. i don't even have to feel safe, my body automatically knows.

the only thing missing is the man i used to hug. light off, cool sheets, warm body, soft skin smelling clean but still tasting salty as i leaned for a kiss.

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Maya Angelou


Shannon said...

this is such a sweet post - and your picture is adorable.

Mandy said...

I love finding random things that help me have such a positive day and bring a smile to my face.

Andy said...

You haven't changed one bit! You lokk like EXACTLY the same.

And I'm glad that in spite of all this mess, you still find happiness. You deserve it.

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Boo, I miss those things too :(

Yay for finishing those books. Hold on a second...are you really reading all those books at the same time?!

Cute picture :)

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Oh, and I really liked Remember Me! I love her books.

Katelin said...

okay this post just made me all sorts of smiley.

and seriously how do you read so many books at once? i so could not do that!

Carissa said...

what a cute picture! and so happy. it is good to find the positive in every day, though I must admit it is not always easy to do for me. but I guess each day is a new day to try harder. I do believe that happiness is a choice we can all make, a choice to let the smiles come, you could say.

btw, I can't believe how fast you get through books! I have been stuck on Eat Pray Love for weeks! I just never seem to find to devote to reading! The Secret Life of Bees is sitting on my bookshelf unread, as a matter of fact...