Monday, February 2, 2009

shades of grey

the person you never think will never hurt you..does.
it's worse then you ever thought.
you wonder "why and "how".
these are the that keep you awake and bring bags to your eyes.
the questions you ask your best friend who is a thousand miles away and can only console you over the phone but who you can call at 2am and will know exactly what you mean when you again ask "why".

screaming phone calls.
things you wouldn't say to your worst enemy you are screaming at the top of your lungs with everything you have.
you swear you will NEVER talk again.
it's almost worse then when you lose a lover because love and sex and passion can always have an end but friendships aren't supposed to end this way.

time passes.
and though the hurt is there
all you really feel is how much you miss them.
he was like your older brother
guiding you, listening, making fun
you were there the day his daughter was born.
he was your boss and then your friend
someone who you thought would always tell you the truth.

you being to wonder...at what point do you stay mad?
at what point do you forgive and forget?
black and white.
wrong and right.
the choices have definitely become blurry.

"Sometimes you forgive someone just because you want them in your life"

you realize life is a series of lessons
love, life, friends, mistakes
do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
enough time passes and you can have both

you run into each other at a chuck e cheese.
his daughter squeals with delight
he sees you and a huge grin is on his face
you know your face looks the same
you talk, laugh, catch up

you can never go back
never have what you had before
but sometimes
it becomes something even better
second chances

"Sometimes you forgive someone just because you want them in your life"

3 comments:

Mandy said...

Sometimes it is good to start over again. You can never go back, but you can have a fresh start.

Andy said...

I've often asked myself this... If this guy comes back to me, pleading me to take him back, would I do it?

In spite of how he disappointed and betrayed me and the trust I had in him?

I know the rational answer would be "NO", but this isn't a rational matter.

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Well said! <3