Monday, September 7, 2009

but this was none of the above, i'm aware

so among other things today, i found out my high school bf is a craigslist lovin possible bi sexual.

"Straight guy looking for first time - m4t - 25 (n. hollywood)"
I am out here on business and have some free time. I have never tried anything like this. Looking for someone white, maybe hispanic. 25, 6ft slim build. Let me know what you want done to you. Maybe you can try a blowjob or anal for the first time on me. Please reply with photo. I have a hotel, but no car. Tonight or tomorrow. Hope to hear from you! [i left out the pictures of his man parts because, while endowed, who wants to see that? plus this is a work safe blog so yeah]

Okay...really my favorite part would have to be the exclamation at the end. "Hope to hear from you!" How hospitable and cheery of you. What a southern bell you are. So yeah don't even ask how I knew he was doing this but sufficit to say I wasn't trolling the LA craigslist casual encounters. Oh and he is also looking for BBWs so I guess he is open for anything at this point, men, women, size, race. At least he is apparently an equal opportunist. Wonder what his live in 19 yo gf thinks? [he's 26 almost 27 btw. which brings up the point why did he put he was 25? bianca pointed out maybe he's been doing this for a while and just cuts and pastes. first time my ass! or his haha. sorry.] Also, my mom wanting to see the ad, remaking on his sizable manbits, being complerelty grossed out by him as well, and recalling how she once heard me having sex in high school. yeah.

In other interesting tidbits from my Labor Day, I got to hold a glock today. Gun safety is important and so I held it and got to look it it and not be so scared. It was very clearly checked and unloaded but still, the fact is a gun is amoral but the people using it make the decisions about what it's going to do. I am going to the gun range next weekend for my first time AND my mom and step dad will be signing me up for the NRA. Hot. Really though I want to be comfortable with a gun and respect it and learn to use it because you really never know when a situation might come up and better safe then sorry.

Also today I went to a bar mitvah this morning. Really great AND I got a tshirt airbrushed with my name so please be jealous kthanx.

Tomorrow I am waking up, leaving the house at 7 to take my Grandma home, got to class, then meet Bianca for some bustlin and good times!

I have been having inappropriate fantasies involving lingerie, a long cardigan, and a crisp fall night.

Song on repeat? Cannonball by Damien Rice


Steve said...

WAIT. WHAT!? The one who introduced us? My brain just EXPLODED.

(So many caps-locked words.)

Joy @ BigTimeFancy said...

You mom. Wanted to see. Your ex's. Peen.

Oh my god.