[just fyi-i changed the name of this blog because i was wanted something new and i'm not really confessing anything. change is good so i also changed my layout.]
so. i mentioned a boy (really a man) a while back. and then i didn't say anything because really nothing was going on. and he was busy and i was annoyed and last week i just took the offer off the table. and literally said those words but in a nice tone. i mean school is kicking my ass bit and i know it is for him so i was like hey no pressure offers off and yeah.
then we did some papers together and i helped him out. and we talked. and talked again.
and then he sent me a text thursday. and then picked me up for a drink. and we talked more.
and then we talked for 2 hours friday.
and there is nothing going on besides talking. and talking. and smiling. and laughing. and getting to know each other. and it is amazing.
i know that its actually the normal and healthy way people should get to know each other but its new to me. i am just not attracted to anyone besides the guy in question. actually i'm pretty sick of most of the guys i know. whether they are deluding themselves or asking things of me which i am not willing to give or just be arrogant and idiotic, the lack of men is disappointing. and i refuse to have sex/be intimate/etc with someone who while everything might be perfect isn't willing to say how he feels. if he can't do that he isn't perfect and he isn't for me.
did i mention this mans eyes are a blue with clouds inside them. they are an unreal blue grey with so much expression. his skin is golden and warm. his body is lean and tight. his smile lights up his face. and mine.
while the man is great looking [read: swarthy, patrick dempseyish, italian/bolivian] his brain is what i like. and how he talks slow and makes me talk slow and i think about what i say and get it out of my brain in a way people understand. and how there is no awkward silence. how he makes sure i get to my car safe and holds doors open for me.
who knows what going to happen.
i am making a new friend.
i am learning patience.
i am smiling.
and when he texts me i get butterflies.