Friday, December 11, 2009

possibility

mistakes are part of growing up. i've definitely made a lot and i am okay with that. what makes me happy about mistakes is when i get to a point where i can almost see the crossroads in my head and am able to chose the right way. when i know the one way i've been leads to no good and actually choose the sometimes less fun but more rewarding in the end way. i like when i am able to pull back and say to myself "it's not worth it, it isn't something respecting you, it won't make you happy, you're doing the right thing" etc.

i have this habit of immersing myself in whatever group i'm in. do i lose myself or individuality? no. but i do like to immerse myself in experiences and try new things and sometimes get so caught up in the excitement i don't see things clearly. and even when i leave sometimes because i loved the people and the time i spent with them, i want to go back in. and i have to remind myself that everything wasn't as great as i remembered and there were alot of things i overlooked that were not good for me. and the fact that i can be honest to myself and admit it, is a huge step.

i have to work on not getting attached again and i think i am doing okay. not great but definitely solid. i keep in my head that this is temporary and while my heart is definitely NOT involved, i like the idea of having my friend back. luckily i am making new friends and my very best friend will be home in a few weeks. and side note, after the phone call i just got, sometimes people really can surprise you.

1 comment:

Classy in Philadelphia said...

I get attached very easily, so I understand why it's hard for you :)

good luck!