i want to fit in the perfect space

people come into your life and people leave. sometimes their absence has more of an impact than you than their life did.

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today i took the best shower. you know when it feels so good to be under the hot water so you do everything extra slow to make it as long as possible? since it's fall/early winter i decided that i need to do some exfoliating. i make my own exfoliator of olive oil and brown sugar. it works amazing and your skin feels sooo clean and healthy and glows. its natural and cheap so i definitely recommend it. some people use honey and sugar for a face exfoliator and i might try that but i really love the brown sugar/oil combo. i am thinking about making my own shampoo and seeing how that works. i like making things because they are cheap and healthy and well, less chemicals are always a good thing.

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i am SO excited that bianca is into one tree hill and almost caught up. it is a great show and i wish more people watched it. all gossip girl lovers should enjoy it. nathan + hailey=the nice chuck and blair. all the sexual tension, love, lust, without the backstabbing crazy. plus all the man candy on that show,yum! [i'm looking at you austin nichols and james lafferty]

omg omg general hospital is bring the good stuff this week. seriously the old lucky is back and the bitch claudia gets what she deserves. don't even judge me because i got into it this summer and i am addicted. unless you have watched a soap for a week, don't tell me its stupid kthanks.

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i moved.

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i bake cookies with my mom. i hang out with charise every morning. i go to school and try not to procrastinate and it sometimes works. i study and read and watch tv and read library books not schoolbooks and try to figure out my future. i help boys with papers when i have 15 minutes to finish mine and still accomplish both. i go to weddings and a funeral. i cuddle with bella. i go to the dollar store and thrift store and library. i enjoy my friends. i join ethics bowl. i laugh. i get the blues. i still want a new tattoo. i miss my best friend. i have skin that glows. i like a boy with skin that glows. i do my best. i dont do my best. i listen to the avett brothers. i buy tickets for new moon at midnight. i dont like the dunkin donuts by my apt. i question my faith. i read old blogs and want to find new ones. i need to lower my phone plan . i need to take the gre's.

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if people dont work how do they afford things? credit card debt scares me when someone isn't working.

why do people say "i seen that" and not "i saw that"? it drives me crazy. my ex did this and i do.not.get.it. it sounds stupid and lazy.

why am i such an idealistic cliche at 26? and do i care? if people thinking being idealistic is bad well how can things get better?

i read that we shouldn't change the world but change ourselves and then world will change.

hands down

so i get to move into my new apartment next week and i'm getting really excited. to have my own stuff out and about again. the lighting the way i like it. just the feeling of me and bella and being SO much closer to school. having friends over. decorating for halloween. baking! cooking! friends (worth a double mention)! i can't wait for new curtains and finishing up my headboard (just need the fabric) and putting up my pictures and just having my own address. i will completely miss my mom and stepdad but the distance is SO far and the extra time will help me especially in winter. only thing missing is a warm body to cuddle under the blankets with and drink hot chocolate and carve pumpkins with. it feels like i've been single a really long time but it really has been a year and i know that i have gone on some dates and had some things going on but i haven't had the butterflies in my stomach- smile when i see his name on my phone- hand holding etc- that is the best part of dating. the problem is the only guy who gives me some butterflies is busy like i am and the timing isn't there. patience is a virture and i keep telling myself that.

also. i still LOVE one tree hill. love it. also obsessed with real world/road rules again. the office and glee. thats about where i am with shows. also i still love kate plus 8 and people who do not have kids should shut up because 1 kid can drive a person bananas and 8 means you have to be organized so now people see shes actually a good mom. what the fuck ever people i like her and that's that.

me not talking to my bestie besides email for 10 days is NOT fun AT ALL. i miss the hell of that girl and seriously my cell phone doesn't get any use with out her. COME HOME B i mean..hope you're enjoying your honeymoon ;) which knowing her awesome and sweet personality she completely is.

oh! check out the shoes i got for $5!! 

oh deer judy peep toe

thank you thrift store :)

after a blink 182/dashboard/new found glory nostalgic moment i need new music. any suggestions?

also just finished:  happy hour at casa dracula and midnight brunch and am reading the third of the casa dracula series, the bride of casa dracula which are funny quick reads that are more laugh than vamp but a chick lit book. something fun and light. also finished: lost in the forest by sue miller and a few others but those stick out in my mind. oh yeah and stranger than fiction by chuck palahniuk. well ive also read the consolation by boethius and some al ghazali but thats probably not that interesting to people lol

so tomorrow is a new day and tonight is going to be a good nights sleep.

conider me gone-reba mcentire

Every time i turn the conversation to something deeper than the weather i can feel you all but shuttin' down.
And when i need an explanation for the silence you just tell me you don't wanna talk about it now.

What you're not saying is coming in loud and clear we're at a crossroads here...

If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don't get drunk on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this then i guess we're done
Let's not drag this on
Consider me gone

With you i've always been wide open like a window or an ocean. there is nothing i've ever tried to hide.
So when you leave me not knowin' where you're goin' i start thinkin' that we're lookin' we're lookin' at goodbye.

How about a strong shot of honesty don't you owe that to me...

If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don't get drunk on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this then i guess we're done
Let's not drag this on
Consider me gone.

Consider me a memory.
Consider me the past.
Consider me a smile in an old photograph someone who used to make you laugh.

If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you
Then i guess we're done let's not drag this on.
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Just consider me gone.