Regarding Rachels post about the 20sb, I was going to leave a comment but it got so long I decided to post it.

As for the same people being nominated for the awards, I think in a way it can seem very cliquey BUT I think, as Jamie said, people should be proactive about it if they don't like it. To me blogging doesnt mean the same as most people and the fact is, some blogs are popular for reason. Blogging to me doesn't factor laregly in my life, I don't have a huge need to be part of a community, and the readers/comments I get are so suprising and so nice and unexpected. I don't often reply, partly because I don't know the etiquette and partly because I read on my iphone while driving or in class and it's hard. I know when i was an activr participant that people were open and welcome and I loved the community.

Does this mean the community is all wonderful and perfect? No, it is like anything else, it has good and bad. The fact is, if it means that much to be nominated, then be as involved as the nominees. They twitter, blog, meet up, they do alot. If that's not for you, then don't be mad.

Blogging is different for everybody. What it means, how it has changed their life, how they feel, their friends, etc. I really don't blog much because my life is busy. It is just busy and I have so many real life freinds that for me it is hard to write. But sometimes I get an urge and I write and write. Does that mean people who blog have no life or less than mine? Definitely not, it means they choose to express themselves and share and that's beautiful.

Don't get me wrong, there are some blogs I think are ridiculous. Some people are boring or annoying or just ridiculous, and guess what? I don't read them. Some people take blogging more serious then I ever would but to be dedicated is cool. For me, I believe on live and let live. If you don't like somehting, work to change or be quiet. People nominated and voted and the thing wasn't fixed, so I really don't see a problem.

I guess I'm glad I got to use the 20sb awards to turn into my feelings on blogging. Sometimes I'm sad I am not a part of the community and I don't make time but I just have so much other stuff going on. For me, not wiritng means things are good and I am too busy enjoying life. For me, this blog is less safe then it was. For me, blogging is about me, as selfish as it is. I care about the people I read and hope they are well but my priorities are different. Blogging is personal to us all and that should be respected.

possibility

mistakes are part of growing up. i've definitely made a lot and i am okay with that. what makes me happy about mistakes is when i get to a point where i can almost see the crossroads in my head and am able to chose the right way. when i know the one way i've been leads to no good and actually choose the sometimes less fun but more rewarding in the end way. i like when i am able to pull back and say to myself "it's not worth it, it isn't something respecting you, it won't make you happy, you're doing the right thing" etc.

i have this habit of immersing myself in whatever group i'm in. do i lose myself or individuality? no. but i do like to immerse myself in experiences and try new things and sometimes get so caught up in the excitement i don't see things clearly. and even when i leave sometimes because i loved the people and the time i spent with them, i want to go back in. and i have to remind myself that everything wasn't as great as i remembered and there were alot of things i overlooked that were not good for me. and the fact that i can be honest to myself and admit it, is a huge step.

i have to work on not getting attached again and i think i am doing okay. not great but definitely solid. i keep in my head that this is temporary and while my heart is definitely NOT involved, i like the idea of having my friend back. luckily i am making new friends and my very best friend will be home in a few weeks. and side note, after the phone call i just got, sometimes people really can surprise you.

books my brother brought me :)

bella hanging out with lady from lady & the tramp

my french memo board with pics i love

what scares the bejeebus out of bella on her walks.

if you're my fb friend you've seen this is my profile pic. love this dog. such a sweet girl. the thought of anything bad happening to her makes my chest hurt. anyways. my other post which i took down was just not something i felt like keeping. sufficient to say, i am in a better mood. well today wasn't easy (thanks NEIU financial aid department!) but as they say about life, it goes on.

i made a friend at school, well weve been friends this semester and i am really excited because she reminds me of my WA girls and she has a sense of humor like biancas and mine and shes really funny. the test? i hope bianca gets to meet her! i like that shes realistic and positive and shares the same interests.

papers papers papers papers. school is almost done! next semester will be a lot lighter, literally half the coursework so i'm very excited.

i spent a great weekend with my family which is always fantastic. more family in a few weeks which means i need to do xmas shopping.

i've also decided how much i adore ted moseby and especially his search and hope for love.
i know what thats like.