Hail Mary, whats up

Confession: I am listening to Hootie and the Blowfish. And I like it!

Yesterday was a really fun day because I got to see one of my best friends. Yale has been one of my closest friends for like 10 years (wow, go us!). [That's crazy she isn't my oldest friend. B and I have been friends for 18 years!!!!] Seriously, as I am writing that, it's insane. 10 years of amazing memories and it seems just like yesterday I was at WA (high school)meeting her on the Lake Forest day parade and thinking what pretty blue eyes and blonde hair she had. That sounds kinda lesbionic but it's true she has awesome eyes!! So anyways we had dinner to catch up as she has recently been in Peru and Seattle.

I had a lovely Leffe Blonde beer and buffalo wings. Way to go diet!! I drove to her apartment and we ended up at this nice little place where we wanted to eat outside because it was such a beautiful night. As she lives in a trendy neighborhood, everybody and their dog (literally) had the same idea so we ended up eating inside. We sat at a booth in the middle which was like a total date but wasn't. I am sure the people around us loves us, as our conversation consisted of sex talk, high school friends, the current relationships were in and the good sex we are missing! It is always good to see Yale because we are 100% honest and crazy and can tell each other anything. We have been in a ton of situations together, from crazy road trips to late night driving, and of course getting pulled over in front of a police station where when asked why she was speeding, she replied "I don't know, I like to speed". Good times, trust me. (There may have been some giggling and drunk dirty texting to T where Yale helped me send a steamy message all the while giggling. I love my friends!!)

So we talked about love and dating and how sometimes it is not okay to be "happy enough" but how we need to just be truly happy. I am really proud of her because she had an opportunity to cheat on her girlfriend with someone she really has feelings for and she didn't. Instead she came home, told her girlfriend, and is being honest and upfront about wanting to leave her relationship. I know it is really scary to leave the comfort of a relationship and having someone to come home to but when it is not the right fit, it is better to leave then drag it on.

I wish E had the guts to do this. To have told me when he felt I wasn't the right one, or as he puts it, not his "100%". When I found out he was with me because it was comfort and he did like me but didn't see a long term future, I was crushed. I LOVED coming home to him, sleeping at night, vacations, dinner with friends, calling each other all day. I guess I was his best friend not his 100% girlfriend. I wish I had known before I kept getting more attached and thinking of a long term future. I wish I had known this before he went and saw his crazy ex gf in Israel and I had to find out from the airlines (they called his cellphone which I had about changing his ticket and asked for his ex gf and I was like woah).

In the end though, I am glad to be single and E and I are still best friends. I have grown up so much and learned alot about myself. The truth is, the more you accept things and just keep busy, life takes over. When it was the end of 2007 I said 2008 was going to be a great year for me. Some REALLY unexpected things happened and some might say it was a bad year but the good has totally outweighed anything bad, Bad is a weird word anyways because I regret nothing and everything has truly been a learning experience. I also found G-d this year and that has given me a faith I have never had. Which leads me to...

I talked to the Chicago Rabbinical Counsel and they are sending me information and an application on converting to Judaism. Studying the jewish culture, holidays, life, has brought G-d into my life in a way I have never felt before. I called the CRC yesterday and today while at work I found this awesome blog: accidentally jewish about a jewish girl's conversion to Judaism in Chicago. I feel like G-d is showing me so many signs this is the right path for me. On the other side of religion...

I was going to youtube to get the video for Death Cab for Cutie's "I will follow you into the dark" video but youtube was suggesting things while I typed and I totally had to put in this.


Love you Sister Mary Clarence!!! (oh that kathy najimy!!)

Also here is the video for Death Cab. I LOVE this song. The lyrics are beautiful.

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs
on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark