iRamble late at night

so the little girl i babysit for has swine flu. i found this out monday while i was in stats class. that was a fun text message. so the family i work for is basically awesome and while i did work all day and stayed home with her, they did get me Tamiflu, the antiviral prescription med to take and paid since i dont have insurance. so here's to hopefully not getting sick.

one of the things i love about working with kids is the special times you have. the little girl and i have a routine when i am staying late. she takes a shower and i get us hot cocoa and i read to her in bed with the soft lights in the room and then i put her night music cd on. she loves that she gets to have her hot cocoa in bed and that i always read her an extra chapter. i love when she tells me she loves me. i love when the 2 boys get really excited to show me things and tell me about their day. i feel lucky to work for such a wonderful family and be a part of their lives. the mom is amazing. seriously. so i like that i do what i love and get to go to school.

i went to mayaans and played call of duty again and tj was there. it was nice seeing him and when we hugged goodbye i felt a tingle. we night go to another movie or do something tomorrow night. it depends. the guys want us to go downtown since tj has his new audi and they feel like going out. i am okay for a movie but dont feel like clubbin it or something.

so again its 3am and i am up.

i pretty much listen to taylor swifts album fearless" on repeat.

i hate that i hate when i introduce someone to someone they use it like they came up with it. or i find out that something i like they like. its so petty yet annoying. like when i found out my ex had become a bulls fan to i was like argghhh. but then i'm like wtf am i 5? so i know it is stupid and i usually push it out of my mind but it definitely makes me roll my eyes. i guess its just something to work and improve on.

i should learn how to reply to comments better or at all. or something. i do read them all and appreciate them though.

i try to remember when i dont like someone or they annoy me or i find them hypocitical or a liar or whatever the issue is that they are also living the same life as we and we are all struggling and have good and bad days. we have lost lives and new loves and good and family and we are all just people. life is hard and good and easy and happy and a million things but the thing is we are all living it. all i can do is the best i can. the best i can and not someone else's best.

And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..
american beauty