100th episode of snapped? i'm excited!

i picked up the graduation packet today at school. i am graduating next may and they want it in my august. it was pretty exciting to pink it up and start filling it out. it definitely makes things more real for me. it makes it even easier to work hard and push myself. 7 classes this summer. 6 in fall and 4 in spring. i am also declaring my sociology minor. it is just exciting to complete this degree and look forward to my future.

i am happy but i definitely feel in limbo. i love my life and am happy with friends, being single, my jobs, and my apt. i just feel like i can't wait to have a family and kids and a career. it will all come in time and i am content to wait but i know that this is just a time to achieve my gaols and make my friendships stronger and just enjoy myself.

i went to the dollar store and the thrift store today and they did not disappoint. i got 2 gap dresses and a banana republic dress and a ton of books and a recipe holder with recipes. okay and q tips and some cleaner and a hair towel.

i had the best convo with bianca where we youtubed saved by the bell, california dreams, hang time, usa high, empire records, beaches, my girl, too wong foo, mermaids, and some others ending with this gem. please enjoy and rent this movie!!

i want to do bad things to you

insomnia is awesome. or, more likely, weird changing schedule's are awesome. and by awesome i mean not so fun since i actually want to be sleeping but can't. bella is clearly having no problem as she has been passed on for hours. best cuddler ever though. she slept while i watched episodes of true blood. when i was in san fran on the way home i bought the sookie stackhouse book "dead until dark" and was not disappointed. so since i liked the book so much i figured i'd see how true blood was since it's based on the series.

thank you comcast for free hbo for a year. also thank you for on demand.

i have been watching episode after episode. i have always loved anna paquin. she is my number girl crush and i just find her very likable. i love her voice. steeb and i have a love for anna paquin and for me she does not disappoint. so i knew there would be a god chance to like the show alot.

now i was worried because of my love for twilight. could i love 2 vampires series? could i love the cullens and sookie? would i hate the show because it wasn't twilight? i definitely was worried about my expectations and i was proved wrong.


i love love love the cullens best of all. honestly, how could you not? edward cullen is definitely the most romantic and hot vampire. hands down. but.
i love true blood. bill compton is a sexy vampire but the whole show is full of amazing characters. anna paquin is a perfect sookie. she makes the show for me. it is definitely very very different from twilight and thats why i think it's easy for me to enjoy it and not compare. now the new vampire diaries show...well we shall see. not holding my breathe.


so. new ringtone? "i want to do bad things to you" by jace everett.

summer school starts tomorrow. i should get sleep as i work and then have a class from 6-945.

the thing is though, i don't mind because having a goal and knowing i'm working towards something makes it worthwhile. i don't mind when people complain but gratuitous complaining....makes me want to complain lol.

kinda can't wait to see who the first person will be with my new ringtone!

what i was striving for

that is hanging in my kitchen and i see it every time i walk into my apartment. when i'm cooking, feeding bella, baking, washing dishes even, it is something that instantly makes me smile and relax. simple and true. it puts any problem i am having into perspective and makes me just stop and be thankful for the things i have.

the last few months have been interesting. living alone. new job. semester ending. amazing san fran vacation. talking to and seeing old friends. another semester closer to graduation. ups and downs and back again. i would say a few people extremely surprised me. good and bad. i learned about who i want to be and who i don't want to be. i learned people who are honest are rare but the ones that are, never let go. i am lucky to have the best friend in the world and knowing people like her exist make up for the liars, the passive aggressive people, the jerks, the close minded people, the selfish ones.

speaking of selfish. elad brought his gf here to america. well. he was sleeping with some girl in miami but his gf decided after a year and a half of waiting for him to let her buy a ticket, just bought one and came. she has been going around to my friends asking why i dont like her and how she wants to talk to me. now, after answering elads phone and having the opportunity more than a few times, seeing me once, and knowing where i can be reached, why not actually try and talk to me when the opportunity has risen? oh. maybe because you stole my bf, changed his tickets, screamed about me for the last year, called me names, and not allowed him to talk to me. and told him it was me or her. oh. right. i am supposed to totally be your best friends forever. of course. she can sleep with my ex, live in my old apt, in the bed i slept in, the sheets i bought, with my furniture, try to think my dog is hers, take babysitting jobs i can't do, and she can never understand that he is not a prize to win. the life of mine she thinks she want i willingly gave up. in my opinion i have to do nothing with her good or bad so i wish she would realize that.

i love when i dont blog because it means my real life is so busy i have no time.

my trip to san francisco? amazing. i saw my best friend for 5 days of awesome. if you go to san francisco, go to fishermans wharf, amazing food and the best clam chowder bread bowl ever. even if the weather is bad, GO. its. a. must. also the secret menu at in n out=amazing. target with my best friend on a saturday night is one of the funnest things ever. usually we are both shopping but talking on the phone and its a bi coastal shopping experience but this time we got to be in the same target! b's bridal shower was adorable and amazing and she looked beautiful. i love all her friends out there. brodie was the cutest boy dog and i loved his tennis ball obsession. i was so glad i got to hang out with matt, my best friend in law. seriously, it was such a fun trip and i felt completely relaxed and comfortbale. i can be anywhere in the world and if i am with b, i feel great. love you bestie!!!!

Confessions Of A (Former) Chicago Boy (matt stratton!!!)

um, how excited am i to have a guest post from matt at good old rock? VERY! so read and enjoy while i unpack and miss being in san francisco...

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Confessions Of A (Former) Chicago Boy

After ten years of living in the city, I moved back to the suburbs last fall. This was a major change for me. In fact, the most common comment I get from my friends is "You are the LAST person I ever would guess would leave the city". Thanks for the salt in the wound, friends. Living in the city has always been a major factor in my identity. I love the city of Chicago. I love neighborhoods. I love street fairs, good restaurants, and urbanity.

So why the frack did I move?

That was easy - I wanted a big house, with a yard, and since my wife and I are moving forward on the Adventure of Family Creation, we wanted to be close to our families (both of which live in the burbs). This all made a lot of sense when we were going through the House Hunting Experience (who I think I saw open for Matthew Sweet in 1998).

Now that we've been suburbanites for about six months (math is hard!), I have a few reflections and observations on the differences in our lives (well, mostly mine) due to this change. I made a promise to myself when we moved that I wouldn't be a whiny cityboy who constantly bitched about how much the suburbs suck. And, for the most part, I've kept my promise.

This blog post is the exception.

First of all, now that I live in the suburbs, I have to drive. A lot. EVERYWHERE. This is not a good thing, by a long shot. For one thing, I hate driving. When I lived in the city, my mode of transportation was a cocktail of the CTA, my bike, and hoofing it. And speaking of cocktails, that's the worst thing about the suburbs - since I have to drive everywhere I go, it really limits my ability to get tore up when going out. In the city, if I wanted to have a cocktail or seven, I could count on the good folks at Blue Ribbon Taxi to get me home safe, without endangering other drivers, pedestrians, or fire hydrants. Now I have to practice "moderation" and remember that after my social engagements I'm getting behind the wheel of a car. And since I (along with the State of Illinois) have a zero-tolerance policy towards drunk driving, this means I either a) have to allow several hours at the end of the night to sober up, or b) stick to Diet Coke all night. This, in a word, sucks.

Speaking of travel, the commuting isn't nearly as bad as it might be. Taking the Metra from Lisle takes me just about as much time as the Brown Line from Lincoln Square used to be (thank FSM for express trains!), although I don't get to take the train from Lisle, as there is a SEVEN YEAR WAITING LIST for a parking space there, so I have to drive to Downers Grove. Of course, you can drink beer on the Metra, which is still a strange and wonderous concept to me. Although since I'm getting into my car when I get off the train, this doesn't provide a lot of value. And don't get me started about having to plan my life around the Metra schedule; the wonderful CTA trains run very regularly, and if you miss one, the longest you have to wait is another ten minutes. If I miss my train home after a baseball game or an after-work happy hour, I might have to sit on my hands for at least an hour. Again, sucks.

I do love our new house though. The yard is huge, and my dog loves it. I even find it kind of fun to cut the grass, now that it is MY grass and not my parents. And it's great to have a garage (although we had one in the city) and my bedroom now is bigger than a few apartments I've had. But on the downside, I have to shovel the driveway. A lot. And when stuff breaks, I have to fix it myself. I kind of miss being able to just call the landlord and say "Yo, the fridge is busted. Please make it not be busted." I realize this is less of a city vs. suburbs thing, and more of a own vs. rent item, but I'm on a roll of bitching, so please don't split those hairs with me. Fixing your own sump pump sucks.

As I mentioned above, I used to ride my bike everywhere. I know that quite a few people will be surprised when I say that I am more frightened of riding my bike in the suburbs than I was in the city - but it's true. In the city, despite the fact that many drivers seem to think it is their prime directive to eff with cyclists, at least they were used to seeing them. And in the city, it's never really possible to drive very fast on the streets that I would ride. In the burbs, the average landspeed of a Naperville soccer mom is between 50-75 mph down Ogden Ave. And I swear they won't be looking for cyclists anywhere but on the Prarie Path. This is why my bike hasn't left the garage since it was unloaded from the moving van. I'm planning to try to brave the suburban traffic in the very near future, but it still rankles. And sucks.

I miss being able to live in my own little bubble in the city. Despite living practically on top of each other, there's a social barrier to city folks where they know how to give each other their space. I had many apartments where I never said more than five words to my neighbors. Granted, in our last apartment, we feuded with our downstairs neighbors, and I love not having shared walls anymore, but now I have to talk to the people who live next door to me. And a couple of them are racist and tell me things about how they're glad that "people like us" bought the house. After ten years of ethnic diversity, this really rubs me the wrong way. Hearing things about the "colored family" who used to live in our house sucks.

One final complaint - food. Seriously. What the hell is wrong with the suburbs? How hard is it to have good restaurants? Don't get me wrong - I love the fact that Portillo's is now five minutes (driving, of course) from home. And there ARE a few places that we can get good chow from. But I can't walk to anything (except Popeye's, and why the hell would I eat there?), and worst of all...GrubHub.com is USELESS in the suburbs. This, more than anything else I've listed, sucks.

So that's my story - I realize I've glossed over a lot of positive things, such as being a mile away from my sister, and I left off the issues with finding a good, affordable dogwalker (in the city you can't swing a leash without hitting five of them), but I didn't want to overload you with Vitamin Rant. I'm sure that with time I'll become assimilated.

That scares the ever-loving crap out of me.

mandy from just a small town girl

a post from the lovely Mandy from "just a small town girl". I adore her and loved this post she wrote. Thanks Mandy!!

"Being Rescued"

Hi everyone, I'm Mandy from Just a Small Town Girl. I know Tiffany is a dog lover and the proud "mom" of Bella. I am a huge advocate of animal rescue and my Golden Retriever came to my family through a rescue organization. If you have ever adopted a rescued animal you know that they are just a little bit different from other animals.

Sandy joined our family almost two years ago, its hard to believe its been such a short time. My family met Sandy – a mild mannered reddish hued Golden on a Friday night exactly one week after releasing our first 17.5 year old dog from her pain.

Making the decision to bring another dog into our home so quickly wasn’t a decision we made lightly. In fact, all the food and dog treats had been given away, the dog house (that had never been used) was donated, water and food bowls picked up and put away. However after two days of a house that felt completely empty without calming presence of a four legged family member was torturous. There was no jingling of a collar, no contended sighs, and coming home was almost unbearable with no one to great us at the door.

When my brother found out we were going to meet a Golden, he became upset, “Its too soon, we’re not ready.” On that summer Friday evening, he begrudgingly went with us, mumbling under his breath. As we stepped out of the car, the wonderful woman who works on behalf of the rescue organization, opened her van door and out bounded Sandy. She was incredibly excited, wiggling her entire body as fast as she could. After quickly making the rounds for a quick pet, she went back to my brother who had crouched down. With her long flowing tail beating against the ground, her big, warm brown eyes looked into his face as if to say “It’s ok if I come home with you, right?” He responded with a playful pat on her head, we all knew that Sandy would be coming home with us.

Over the past few years, while Sandy has a special bond with each of us, the bond between her and my brother has surpassed all of those. In some way that can’t be verbally explained, Sandy knew that my brother needed her most to help him get over the grief of losing our other dog. We all needed her to help heal our hearts and move forward. She has given us unconditional love and loyalty. She makes us laugh daily with her human like expressions, antics, and moods. When we've had a bad day and just want a hug, she patiently sits there as we wrap ourselves around her, kissing her forehead. She reminds us to stop whatever it is we're doing for some fun or just a belly rub. She makes our lives complete.

Its easy for us human beings to rescue a dog-- to give them shelter, food and love. What we don't realize though is that usually we're the one's being rescued by these magnificent creatures.

--
Mandy
www.knowingthedifference.com

confessions of a jeresey girl!!!

while i'm in california having the best time of my life, the amazing rachel from confessions of a jersey girl wrote a post. so read and enjoy the fabulousness....

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Really. The always wonderful Tiffany asked me on Friday if I would guest post for her while she's off gallivanting in Cali. Naturally, I jumped at the chance, how could I not? She's awesome. So I started to rack my brain about things to post on. Originally, I was going to do this whole old picture / funny caption thing... but all of my picture books are in storage. AWESOME. So, I'm totally flying by the seat of my pants here on this one, because I've got nothing.

Can we talk for just a second about watches? I've been single now for oh, about five minutes. I've picked a few things up while being out on the dating scene again after five (FIVE) years. It's an interesting thing, this whole "dating" we do. I'm getting off topic. Right. So, one thing I have decided in my five minutes of my newly found singleness is that I absolutely refuse to date a guy that doesn't wear a watch. Sounds silly, no? Watches say a lot about the person wearing them. You can tell if they are business men (Omega, Tag Huer... You know.), outdoorsy (Citzen. They usually have plastic bands, tide meters and the like) or even nerdy (vintage nintendo watches (i've really seen them), lots of buttons. Don't really know of any brands... I try to seer clear of these dudes.). I totally judge a guy within fifteen seconds of seeing him based on the watch he's wearing. What about if he isn't wearing a watch? Well, I don't immediately write him off or anything, he just has to try THAT MUCH harder to get my attention.

I try to keep my distance from anyone wearing a Rolex, which there happen to be a lot of in my profession. It might sound silly to some, but I find wearing a Rolex to be a little pretentious & flashy. These guys have money and they flaunt it. My thoughts? Having money doesn't make you any less of an asshole than the guy sporting the Shark watch. Granted, the guy I was seeing at work had a $5k watch and I'd never know... still an asshole. You gotta be careful.

Wearing a watch in general says a lot about a person though. It can mean you are responsible. It can mean you are successful. Not wearing a watch can mean you are a free spirit. It can also mean you just have a good internal clock. Really, a guy at the bar actually said that to me once when I drunkenly explained my watch theory. Ideally, I'd like a mixture of the two. Successful but spontaneous and free spirited when life allows for it. I honestly just feel like guys with watches tend to be more... together. This isn't true in all situations, but around here in my little south Jersey bubble... It's worked so far.

Guys: Do you wear a watch? Why? (If so, I'm currently taking applications. Submit a letter of interest in the comments section. Bonus if you can be in Vegas June 5-7!)

Girls: What about you? What things about guys do you notice right away?

all star blogging

while i get to spend the next 5 days with my best friend in the world, i realized i had blog free days. now normally i dont need a guest post cause even when i'm home i miss weeks of blogging. then i was like, no, share some of your fav bloggers and get them to post more. this way i and whoever reads this get more awesome writing from superb people. so here's the starting line up.

saturday: the brilliant and beautiful Andy from life isn't so terrible
sunday: the funny and intelligent matt from good old rock

monday: the kind, gorgeous, smart and amazing Rachel from Confessions of a Jersey Girl
tuesday: the funny, honest, beautiful mandy from just a small town girl
when K from Wannabe Reality Super Star sends me hers it will go up immediately

hope everyone has even half as good as time as i know i will be having!!!!

my tv family

so i found out tonight via a tweet from Classy in Philadelphia that there will be no more lucas and peyton on one tree hill. after chad michael murray was such a jerkface to sophia bush i could have lost him 2 seasons ago. i will admit i grew to love lucas more this season but he is a douchebag and horrible to girls. he just screws everyone over for peyton and ugh. whatever. it clearly is all about nathan and haley and julian and brooke. even mouth and milicent are a better couple and you know i love me some skillz. okay so back on track after that little tangent. anyways the oth news got me thinking about my tv boyfriends. namely of course my #1 man chuck bass. but then i was like okay i love my tv boyfriends but i should have a tv family. so here we go, my ideal tv family.

Fake Mom
Lorelai from Gilmore Girls

"Lorelai: Hey, isn't that your naked guy?
Rory: Oh, yeah. Marty, hey! He's not my naked guy.
Lorelai: Well, you don't really want a communal naked guy, nowadays, you know, it's too sketchy. "

young, hip, and a good role model. who doesn't love her? no one thats who. also i feel she could understand my random quotes, random stream of consciousness, and how fast i talk. hey maybe i got it from her?

Fake Dad
Harold Waldorf from Gossip Girl
he's gay. smart. knows how to treat his daughter. loves her for who she is.
he's basically is the same as my dad but dresses better and lives in france.

Fake Brother
Gus From Psych

Gus: You named your fake detective agency Psych? Why didn't you just call it 'Hey, we're fooling you and the police department; hope we don't make a mistake and somebody dies because of it'?

he's hilarious. he's a good person. he's dependable. hes awesome. he can keep up

Fake Sister
Tyra Banks
seriously do i need to explain this? smart. fierce. doesn't give a fuck.

Fake Boyfriend
Julian from One Tree Hill
honest. fun. sweet. hard working. fights for what he believes in. handsome as the devil. this is basically the perfect man for me. call me Austin.

Fake Boy I Hate to Love
Chuck Bass

he is not datable but he is the one you can never forget.
"While there are few things I consider sacred, the back of the limo is one of them"

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so. apparently this is what happens when school is out and i dont have work to do.
interesting.

bought new burberry brit, well worth it

oh. im sorry. have you met my new bf spock? i know. hes all hot and sexy and can hold his emotions. he totally doesn't mind sharing me with edward. vampires and vulcans are total bffs.yum. yummy!! nice. mm. yum.

i clearly saw star trek today and was all excited. poor bianca remembers as a kid my parents making me watch it every week so i am kinda in nerdy and knew what was up.
spock and uhara hook up? holy hot!! seriously the whole, i dont have emotions but you get to me thing? pretty much awesome. spock is my new edward. although edward is still my number one, when he goes hunting he puts spock in charge of keeping me warm and safe.

and sexed.
whatever.

go see this movie.

anyway....

i bought these 2 pictures today, framed, and ready for my bedroom.
$15 each down from $30, i love a bargain.

i also bought a sign that says:

happiness is a journey, not a destination.

$6 and well worth it.

oh saaphyri

i never went to bed last night. headed to my dad's around 6:30. went to airport. slept on flight. came to grandparents. lunch. nap. then amazing dinner.
i love my family and we had a fun dinner to celebrate my grandpas birthday. amazing steak place where i had a rib eye steak, spring salad with vinaigrette dressing, mashed sweet potatoes and a nice Riesling.
got a mothers day card for being bella's mom. thank you $50 to macys. unexpected and a sweet treat.
also grandma told me i can go to florida to the family condo and take a vacay. she was so adorable. "its a free vacation, food, shopping, airfare, movies, dinner, etc". we have a condo on the beach and whenever someone wants to use it we just make plans and go. im going to go in july wen my aunts there for company. how excited am i? VERY. its my favorite place in the world. its quiet and clean, on the gulf, its relaxing and i always get an amazing tan.
tomorrow its brunch and a movie and shopping. more papers.

perspective is the key.
"if you don't like this, don't read it"
take your own advice. ill do the same.

andy has given let it go advice and im taking it.

its hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world.
thanks kevin spacey.

things that make me happy

Leave Happier

another post of atual nonsense will follow

apparently, even though i am not a well read blog, a bunch of people thought i meant ALL Chicago bloggers are jerks and were hurt by this. let me say this:

99.9% OF CHICAGO BLOGGERS ARE AMAZING

that being said, i still stick to my original opinions. there are especially 2 or 3 people i do not like in the chicago scene. they are cliquey and mean. they blog for business reasons and pretend they have a personal blog. they represent themselves completely different from who they are. they talk about their "best friends" in a way that makes me wish they wouldn't be allowed to use those words.

i fully apologize to any Chicago blogger who thinks i was talking about the whole city. there are a ton of bloggers i have never read, don't know about, etc. i only meant a few of ones i know. and not "know of" but actually know. so that is about.1%. i know many Chicago bloggers who are divine and adorable and wonderful human beings.

my big issue is blog etiquette. when you attack a person on your blog who is a member of the same groups as you, who know the same people, and who can easily be identified irl , that is a line that SHOULD NOT be crossed. when a person asks you to take a post down and you refuse until they threaten you with all the shit they know, thats ridiculous. who wants to resort to threatening people? (although it clearly did work)

what bothered me was that people seemed to accept this as somehow acceptable behavior? talking behind someone back in front of their face is cowardly. and people who read this and defended this behavior, that is ridiculous. i understand some people felt silence was the best option to stay neutral but i took it to mean while they didnt agree they also didn't disagree.

all i want is people to have a little more awareness about blogging as it is a huge part of social media and is only growing bigger. why not keep the decency and kindess and basic respect there?

the best etiquette advice i can say is not mine but taken from a blog comment:

people in your life also have every right to not want to be exposed on the blogosphere.

blogger blacklist?

i feel like there is a blogger blacklist. and i am on it.

maybe i am the only one?
i grew to love a lot of people and their blogs.

i had an incident with a blogger who has been around longer and is quite popular. since then i would say that almost anyone who i knew before from blogging in the chicago area and some other out of state blogger have stopped talking to me. nothing via twitter. no more blog comments. basically i have been completely ignored. now, don't get me wrong. it's not about comments but its about basic decency.

what did i do to them?

did they hear my side of anything? or am i just considered some bitch now? there are Chicago events i don't feel comfortable going to. why should my fun and city be ruined because of one person skewed opinions of what happened. call me paranoid or not, but the direct lack of communication after the event leads to me to one opinion: blogger blacklist.

and i am not the only one.

what the christ here people?a good friend i adore has been completely left out of the vegas trip and isn't included in emails. she will help people via twitter and not even a thanks. are we immature or are we adults? manners are manners, whether internet or irl.

i have kept my side of the story out of the internet.""I could spend countless hours talking about what went on in that apartment"". yeah well i could spend weeks. so even though this is like a month later i am fucking pissed that i am considered some bitch or who knows what the fuck is being said.

thanks.

what disappoints me is i am actual person with feelings and yes, i got hurt. it hurts me that people who i really liked and who seemed to like me completely stopped talking to me for no reason. maybe i am just a random internet person but i actually cared what happened to people, their families, jobs, etc.

it might mean nothing to anyone but when people you grow to care about do that it actually hurts whether i've met you in real life or not. im sorry i am not a popular or well known blogger but fuck that. i am a PERSON.

so.

at this point i am thankful for all the amazing bloggers ive met and ghcat with and love and hang out with who are decent human beings who know what it feels like to be hurt or talked about and to try and do the right thing.

the high road sucks.
i feel like a turn down the truth road is in order.

"take care, now"

So last week I got a email from Shannan @ Solstice Communications and was REALLY excited! It was an invite to a Target event (Bullseye Bizarre). I was all set and ready to go. Then I realized since my Earth Science final was at the same time as my psych final, I had to take the later Psych test which was 5:40 to 6:30. Still not bad, i could make it possibly. Too bad when I got to class, the test started late and at that point I was just hoping to get my A and be done. Also, there was a little thing about this boy asking me to have dinner.

Okay so I had to run and straighten up the apt, visit the thrift store for a new scarf, 2 books, and a cute dress (addict? yes? 11.50, not too bad). So I go home, throw some laundry in and began the single girl clean. I start looking at the time and am like woah I have like 4 minutes to get ready.

I don't really wear makeup so all I use is Bobbi Brown tinted moisturizer and some Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner. honestly i cant live without a tinted moisturizer and eyeliner is a nice touch. threw on my cute scarf with polka dots, jeans, and the brown levis dress over em, and a pair of peep toe heels. seriously i love when i can rock the 3-4 inch heels and my date is still taller.

so i tell him im gonna be a few minutes late and of course call my friend lior to freak out about how i dont want to go and what was i thinking and blah blah. i follow cute date to the restaurant and he leans to hug me and kiss me on the cheek.

things i learned about him

• 23
• speaks german, romanian, english, hungarian, some spanish, italian
• lived in germany for 2 years and italy for a year
• used to play roulette when he was 15 (um okay?)
• amazing eyes
• well mannered
• lived in america for a year
• drinks his pop with no ice
• makes me smile

so after we are done, since we are literally 30 seconds from my apt, i invite him over. now all the things i learned about him are great but everyone who knows me knew i was looking to get some making out or sexin. i mean, it is what it is, ya know? so we get to my apt and i again admire his height. so we go inside, have a corona and watch some tv. we talk, he goes on the balcony to smoke, we talk, finally i'm like what the christ? and go outside with him when he smokes. also love that after he smokes he chews gum. so anyways i give him my, seriously kiss me now, im adorable and willing look, and he finally does.

he.is.an.amazing. kisser.

so we kiss and kiss and hands are roaming and were kissing and its hot. we go inside and continue. so we agree to go to my bedroom. [seriously when he sees my edward poster i kinda was embarrassed but then i was like whatever he's hot no shame] and finally we get down to the sexin. after some, yes you need to wear a condom talk, we get down to business. and then im like hey whats with the shirt on? turns out he has a freaking huge (5in x 3) although not gross birthmark on his side. i was like whateves. so we had sex twice and i would said it was....good. not tal good but good. definitely enjoyable and nice. i laughed and had fun and that is my favorite kind of sex. where it can be hot but you can laugh and have fun.

so i would say this was a solid B. above average, fun, i enjoyed myself. at least i had sex!! now ill get the sex itch, see so@24 for better explanation of no sex forever, then sex, then the concept of no sex.

so we'll see what happens with adrian, thats cute guys name, but he is

1. a snazzy dresser
2. european
3. tall
4. good kisser
5. makes me smile

also, i really think the tattoo will be happening soon. kinda pretty much really excited.

you can do magic

"T gives me butterflies in my stomach. Just thinking about him makes me smile. I love going out to dinner with him or driving around or cuddling in bed. I love that when I drive he kisses my shoulder randomly and that he won't drive if he doesn't have his license even if it is only for 2 minutes. I miss just sitting with him. Sitting on the steps, between his legs, leaning against him, just talking and staring at they sky, it was such a content feeling. Sometimes I think happiness is just being with the right person at the right time and not wanting to be anywhere else"
july 21, 2008

a year ago i met someone who changed my life. i fell in love and i regret nothing. it ended and we haven't spoken in months and still i will always be thankful and happy at the times we had. to be able to feel that way and be in love, i am lucky i had that. i remember a year ago seeing him for the first time. i will never forget his smile or the way he said my name. he was a lost but good soul. he is the reason i am not dating to date or to lead someone on.

"The mistakes I've made are dead to me. But I can't take back the things I never did"

Jonathan Safran Foer

I think this will be my next tattoo. on my ribcage/side.
thought?

you proved you weren't the one for me

i also got a gorgeous soft and comfy blue halter that matches the blue in the green scarf.

thrift store addiction? yes. i also am obsessed with dry erase board so when they had this brand new for $5 i was like sure why not? now my fridge has one too!!

i have a hang out with a hot romanian boy on wed so lets see how that goes.

i am SO excited for the GG young lily episode. seriously, they might make me like a young rufus.
fuck i love money. grrr. i hated "myamee" or whoever you spell her name.
i need to get season 1 of how i met your mother.


Not sure where to go
Everybody I know
Says I'm too forgiving
And now that I'm wrong
I don't wanna move on
I just keep reliving

All good things
I wish you
All good things
Come to an end
All good things
I wish you well

All Good Things
Mandy Moore

single girls swag

i had a lot to say but deleted it. really, it can be summed up in one sentence:

Chicago bloggers are cliquey and i am glad not to be a part of it.

i have been so busy it is insane. work work work work. school. work work. friends. etc etc.
i love being busy. i thrive on it.

i also love:
phone calls from old friends who are amazing and its like we never stopped talking. wendys french fries and window penises forever lol.

bald guys, especially Israeli ones like the new one i met and want to knock boots with.

2 weeks til my trip!!

barbarella hair

vh1 tv (always)

sundressess

school is finishing up. work is going amazing. decisions are made. summer school soon and registering for the fall. i am happy and stressed and feeling good. no matter what, i know i will be okay and i love the friends i have. unless its knockin the boots guy i dont want a roommate. living alone suits me and i dont think i have the energy for someone else. i like my apt a lot and the 2nd bedroom is totally wasted as i keep the door closed all the time. i am thinking of making it an office or maybe use it as a guest room. that is so weird to me and too grown up.

a lot of other personal things are going on and if i am vague its because i want to be and dont have the energy, inclination, or reason to share it here. its a lot of stress and none at all and i am handling it the best i can.

attitude is the key and i am keeping mine happy.

i cant wait for the season finale of i love money 2. the new GG and OTH. dont get me started on the last tough love episode. oh jackyln!!!! also looking forward to seeing fighting and wolverine and even star trek.

Am I suppose to put my life on hold because you don't know how to act and you don't know where your life is going?

Am I suppose to be torn apart, broken hearted in a corner crying?

pardon me if I don't show it. I don't care if i never see you again. I'll be all right
take this final piece of advice and get yourself together, but either way baby I'm gone

I'm so over it I've been there and back, changed all my numbers and just in case your wondering i got that new I'm a single girl swag, got me with my girls and we're singing it.

na na na na na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye(repeat x2)

cut my hair 'cuz it reminded me of you. i know you like the long do, had to switch my attitude up, thinking of changing up how i ride, no more, on the passengers side, to bad you missed out on the way i drive it.